Friday, December 13, 2013

This class have been an inspiration for me. I have learned so many things that I will use in my future and it has really prepared me for marriage and relationships in general. I have learned about the challenges that marriage is facing because of current situations in the world. I have learned about the 4 different types of love: agave, storge, eros, phillia. We talked about the different stages of dating and why dating a lot of people is crucial and extremely beneficial to marriage. One of my favorite topics was the different roles of men and women. We talked about how men and women have equal roles, they just encompass different aspects of life. They have different obligations and roles that are natural. Men and women compliment each other and help support each other and that is one reason it is good for them to be different.
We also talked about the difference in culture and class. We defined both of these and talked about how society and the world in general view these two ideas. We also talked about parenting and children. We learned the different types of parenting and which one is most effective and influential for children. We also discussed the challenges that newly wed couples face and how those problems can be solved. Another topic that I thoroughly enjoyed was talking about children and both the blessings and challenges they can bring into a marriage.
Overall, I have learned so many important things in this class that I will forever carry with me. I have been changed because of the things that I have learned inside this classroom. I feel so much more prepared for so many different stages of my life after this class. I have the tools necessary to build and sustain a healthy marriage and household. I have also learned skills that are helpful and effective for family and friend relations. This class was extremely helpful and interesting, I am sad to end it.
This class is coming to a close which is really sad for me because I have learned so much. This weeks, we have talked a lot about divorce and why people get divorced and if those reasons are valid. First we talked about some of the reasons why people receive a divorce in the first place.
Reasons for divorce:
1. Financial issues. After discussing this reason, we discovered that getting a divorce and then for the father to support 2 households is actually much more money than before. Some people may not think about his aspect of a divorce before hand.
2. The couples simply fell out of love. We, as a class, discussed that couples need to get married not only because they are in love, but for other reasons that will last long and be a foundation for hard times.
3. Couples have communication problems. People have used this excuse to cover the real reason they are having problems. Communication is a very important part of any relationship, but if they knew this was the problem, why didn't they fix it? People do not understand that it isn't communication that is the problem, rather it is perspective. Couples sometimes have trouble understanding their spouse's perspective or reasoning behind different actions or thoughts. Once this is understood, communication takes care of itself.
We also learned that sometimes when adults complain, it is their way of crying. We talked about it people blame their spouse, they will feel defensive. However, if they were to show their pain without any blame, their spouse will react with compassion. Being tender and sensitive is usually more effective than coming on strong and firm when trying to dissolve problems in relationships.It is important to remember that problems can be worked out. We need to be more patient with those we love and try to fight for the marriage before jumping into something that we will regret. Great things are worth fighting for!

Friday, December 6, 2013

In class, a very interesting topic came up that we continued to discuss. The topic was on family and how the family's unity or closeness with one another has changed. Years ago, the main job fathers had was to farm. In fact, the entire family helped and participated in farming and the things that came with that. Because of this, families were together the majority of the time and they were constantly working together. This created unity and strength within the family. However, now this is not the case at all. Fathers (and sometimes the mother as well) often work away from home leaving the children either alone or in the care of someone else. So then the discussion turned to talking about the benefits of working together as a family.
The benefits brought up were:
1. Family learns teamwork
2. Responsibility taught
3. Children learn the skill of problem solving
4. The family as a whole learns to communicate with each other
5. The children will pick up modeling skills (learning from the examples around them)

These are just a few of the benefits families have when they work together. Now I am not saying that families that have parents who work outside the home cannot learn these certain skills; but, the families who do things like farm together have easy access to this and they will learn these skills faster and can then apply them daily. Working together definitely has many benefits and came help a family become close.

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

As a class, we have been talking about the challenges and blessing that can come from couples having children. Before the child is even born, there is a lot of concerns, stress, and preparation to do. There is a lot of adjusting that needs to be done in order to prepare for the baby to come and once the baby is here, that couples lives are never going to be the same and their family dynamic is going to change. This new family is going to have to find new ways to do things and it is similar to first getting married, where everything is like an experiment to see what will work best. There are things that the couple can do together while the mother is pregnant that will bring them closer together.

One thing that might seem insignificant but very important is for the future father to attend the prenatal appointments with his wife. Doing this will ensure that the father feels involved and they will both gain knowledge about the situation. When the father does this, it shows the mother that he cares enough about her and the baby to attend even the smallest things. The father gives support to the mother by doing this simple act. Situations have occurred when the father feels left out or excluded from the mother because she is so occupied with this new baby. To avoid these feelings, it is a good idea to go with her to her appointments dealing with the baby.
In class we have been discussing the challenges that newly wed couples face. There were a lot of things said and talked about but this list had a universal agreement on them.
1. Forming their own marital system.
2. Deciding on housework, work, debt ect. (In other words making big decisions together)
3. Resolving Conflict (In a productive and healthy way)
4. Fusion
5. Discovering how each person handles and deals with personal problems
6. Trying to make or choice between traditions and where to spend the holidays
These are just a few of the conflicts that newly weds face. Some of these people might not consider until they are faced with this conflict. The good news is there are different ways that couples can handle this types of problems and in the process help strengthen their relationship.
I think one of the most important things couples can do to resolve and prevent arguments and conflicts is to communicate. It might seem to simple to be true but simply listening to each other and then calmly express what you are thinking and how you're feeling can go a long way. Another tip that will help your marriage, is to keep our parents away and out of arguments with your spouse. Involving your parents in personal conflicts can cause more damage and and fuel to the fire. You need to work things out with your spouse on your own, which can be difficult, but it is extremely important in forming a healthy bond and relationship with your spouse.

Saturday, October 26, 2013

Recently we have been talking about dating, relationships, and the different types or categories of love. There are 4 different types of love. The first is agave, second is storge, the third is eros and the fourth is phillia.
Agave involves more actions and service than the romantic feelings between couples. Storge is a relationship that is found between a parent and a child. It involves one spouse looking after the well being of another. Eros are the romantic feelings found between two people. This type of love has more passion than the other types of love. Phillia is brotherly love or a friendly love. All of these are important to have in a relationship. They each have qualities that can contribute to a healthy and well functioning relationships.
We also talked about the different stages of dating. The first step is dating a variety of people. This helps you get to know what types of people and characteristics that you want in a furture spouse. The next, is courtship which is dating one person exclusively. This is an important step in the dating process. The next step is engagement. After you have dated a person exclusively, you take the next step of marriage.

Saturday, October 19, 2013

This weeks discussions have revolved around the different roles that men and women have and how they are different. It is true that everyone wants to be treated fairly and be equal to those around them. We can see evidence of this throughout history. Today especially, there is a tremendous want for equality on different issues. However, the definition of equality has been changed throughout time and equality can mean different things to different people.
For example, there has been and still is a lot of debate about women being equal to men. Women feel like they are at a disadvantage or they are inferior because men have certain responsibilities that they do not have. But does this really make them unequal? In our world today, we believe that equality means that everyone must be the exact same. However, I believe that men and women are completely equal, they just have different roles to play. People can be different and equal simultaneously. Women have certain characteristics that are genetic and natural for them and the same thing for the men. We are genetically designed to act in certain ways. Society needs to acknowledge the fact that men and women can be different from each other and it is not a bad thing.